Mummie is going to care for you

Until you die;

Caress your brow

When you are ill;

Wipe away the tears,

When you fall.

She will make sure that no harm comes your way,

John Edwards punch you in the playground.

How dare he -

Your nose all bloody and red!

Two weeks later,

Little Johnnie was found dead,

Floating in the school’s fishpond.

They said that it was a tragic accident,

He had tripped and banged his head on a stone slab,

And drowned soon after.

Now the pond has been filled in,

John Edwards bullies you no more.

You will never experience a broken heart!

Mummie will choose you a woman,

From a good family.

If you fall for one of those tarts that live down the lane

Who are only after your money,

And bury them in the conservatory.

She will comfort you in your loss,

With her suffocating love.

Until you conclude

that there is no love like a motherly love.